Nature and Nurture

Question:: Aren't some children born with real personality differences? I have noticed that some students are more impulsive or shy or aggressive than others. They're not playing out a role. They don't seem to be aware that their behaviour is not appropriate.
Answer:: Some children arrive at school with particular dispositions, but this doesn't mean that he or she has to be trapped by it. The "impulsive" child needs help and practice in slowing down and considering the consequences of his actions; the "shy" child needs to experience the pleasure of reaching out to others; the "aggressive" child needs to learn how to relate to others peacefully.

You cannot excuse a child's behaviour on his upbringing, genetic predisposition, or economic background. Students can learn proper behaviour in the same way that they learn multiplication tables; just as some students take longer to learn their math facts, some students will take longer to learn appropriate social behaviours.

Question:: What can you do if, despite your best efforts, a student persists in playing out a role?
Answer:: Persevere. Don't take the student's resistance personally. The youngster who continues to act out in a negative role isn't necessarily out to "get you." He is also not acting this way because "he was born that way." Chances are he's clinging to a behaviour that is safe, successful and familiar. He may need many repetitions of your words and your positive attitude before he can begin to trust you or to trust himself to experiment with new behaviours.

Behaviours are not adopted in a few days. These develop over time and consequently will not be changed in a few days no matter how much attention you pay to the behaviour or attitude. People behave in a manner that's comfortable and successful for them. Students tend to live up or down to their teachers' expectations. If you see them as faulty people who need to be fixed up and straightened out, they'll supply you with plenty of work. If instead you choose to look for whatever is positive and build on that, they'll work equally hard to justify your faith in them.